There and Back Again

life
is often not easy
the day-to-days become routine
relationships sour
problems get so big
you can’t wrap your head around it
what might have beens haunt your dreams
could’ve beens headline your nightmares

but all that disappear —
for one brief moment
when I look out into the ocean
and realize how vast it is
and how small I am
everything becomes so beautiful
everything falling into place

i stand facing the mighty ocean
while i let the sun kiss my face
and the wind blow my hair
i let the sand caress my tired feet
and the water soothe my weary soul

i close my eyes and hear the ocean whisper,
“rejoice, don’t despair
there’s still much to be thankful for
and much to hope for…”

~ ly

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.  May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.  And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.” – Irish Blessing

Dear T,

My fondest memory of you would have to be the time we all went bowling as a going-away party for D.  We decided to dress crazy and your idea of crazy was smearing your face silly with make up and wearing curlers on your blond hair.  We all bombed at bowling, sans J who bowled professionally, I think.  But we all aced the “having fun” part.  I still have pictures of that night, somewhere in my boxes of memories.  I’ve been sworn to forever hide those pictures until the day I die.  Now it will be the only thing that will remind me of the fun-loving, confident T that I knew.

Now the Lord has taken you back from whence you came.  Where you are, you can now rest and forever be at peace. You will shine bright and beam upon your children and your beautiful grandchildren.  The days will forever be bright where you are and those you have left behind will forever miss you.

Rest in peace, my friend.
LY

I have a confession to make, I desperately want to be an expert knitter. I see all these knitting patterns and I begin to imagine myself sitting by the fireplace casually knitting, glancing at what’s on TV in between knit and purl stitches, and before you know it I’ve completed an infinity scarf that’s unique and special. But the sad part is that knitting, I don’t think, likes me. I’ve tried so hard to master even the simplest of stitches. Sometimes I get on a roll and would be in the middle of a marathon garter stitch only to make a mistake - drop a stitch, forget if I should be purling or knitting, or just lose count - and I end up undoing the whole thing because fixing if just seems unbearably hopeless. That’s when I throw away the needles, pick up a crochet hook and swear to forget wanting to be a knitter. Crocheting is just as cool and I can problem solve my way out of a dropped crochet stitch with my eyes closed. Problem is there never are any cool crochet patterns…

So today, I was at Joann’s for an errand and look what I found! Knook by Leisure Arts. Simply put, it’s knitting using a crochet hook. YEAH! How cool is this? I’m so excited to use it and hopeful that I can finally “knit” that infinity scarf before winter ends. Tee-ha!

I’ll report back soon, if it solved my dilemma. And by soon, I might mean three winters away.

Good night! - LY

Posted with Blogsy

Well what do you know? Life's caught up with me. Time has passed me by without me noticing. More than a year has come and gone since my last entry and my hair's gone gray (in some areas), my patience has gone thinner, my waist wider, and my undocumented memories slowly fading. I am wiser and stronger, I suppose, though some days I wake up and I still feel silly and insecure of my efforts, my achievements, my purpose.

I've stopped writing and took the easy and short way - Tweeter and Facebook. I dream of writing every now and then though. In my dreams I'm sitting on my bed, composing a really good poem or writing a sappy short story but nonetheless a complete short story. Then I wake up to realize that none of the words I wrote were real. Worse, I can't remember what I was writing about yet I remember how accomplished I felt writing those words. That's what writing does to me - I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish writing something. When I write, I put into words what my head and my heart are dying to articulate. It doesn't matter if no one reads it, that's not the point. The point really is that I've memorialized through words a moment and a feeling that was important to me at that very precise moment.

So I picked up a new journal and downloaded this new iPad application that is supposed to help mobile blogging easier. Let us see if, between this two mediums, I can get back into the groove of writing again.

Dare I venture into a vow that between now and the end of 2012, I will write/blog an entry every each day? I think I might. That's what iPads are for, right?

Anyway, this should be enough for a first entry in year 2012. My eyes are beginning to droop so best hit the sack now. The long weekend has been nice, but now I must sleep and face the world again tomorrow.

Until tomorrow.

LY

Posted with Blogsy

6:40 AM - I’m sat here waiting for the sun to rise, listening to the ocean sing an angry chorus, watching a distant ship with its lights shining bright (must be a cruise ship) and my heart is filled with glee. This rare moment of peace and serenity humbles me as I think about all the days of my life. I think about all my loved ones and how I wish they could see this with me. I think about all my dreams and how some of them came true, while others will forever be at bay.

This morning the moon is missing from this view, but memorable nonetheless. I take a silly picture so I would always remember this feeling, this moment for the rest of my life.

It’s been ages since I walked barefoot on the grass. And it’s been ages since I laid on the grass, on my back, looking up at the sky. Today I did both. I wanted so much to capture the moment but all I could muster was a picture of the dark clouds that hid the sun for most of the day.

On many days, I wish life could just be this easy.

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. (Hans Christian Andersen)

It’s been ages since I’ve updated but in case anyone was wondering, I’m still here. I’m still breathing. Still writing whenever time allows me. For the most part, nowadays my days are spent studying. Not fun, but I’m doing it and can’t back out anymore. A few more months and I’ll be done. Until then, I’m preoccupied and sacrificing a lot of my time…