There and Back Again

Background music: John Mayer, Room For Squares

Well what do you know? It’s been almost three weeks since my last entry and by golly, it’s November already! Happy November to everyone! Anyway, I have been writing while I was “away” but just haven’t had the chance to post them until now. Each of the entries below will have the original date it was written. Hopefully, the next few weeks would be a bit more productive.

October 17, 2002

The year is 2002. In a few days I turn twenty-nine. Twenty-nine years of existing, learning and facing challenges. I feel like an old soul at twenty-nine. Sometimes it seems like I’ve seen all there is to see and experienced everything that need to be experienced — although I know I haven’t. I am contented with my life as it is now. Of course, it would be nicer if I weighed less and that I didn’t have to work as much but other than that, I am happy. I could die now and say I’ve lived life as I wanted to live it. There is weightlessness in my heart that allows me to be carefree and confident that nothing can go wrong now.

To commemorate my twenty-ninth birthday, I would like to recount a few of my happiest moments.

March 1994, Graduation Day. I was happy to have finally finished that chapter of my life and to have achieved what I’ve set out to achieve - graduate from college with flying colors. I was beaming with joy and pride as I sauntered on to the stage, my mother right next to me. I will always remember the elation I felt as the Dean handed me that white piece of paper and my mother put that medal around my neck.

When I am traveling, I am most happy. From the first field trip I ever took when I was in college to the most recent Caribbean cruise my sister and I took, I know I am always happy when I am far from what’s routine. When I am traveling, I become a stranger. Nobody knows me. I can assume any mood, any personality I want. In the real world you have to make an effort to be nice to the people you interact with daily even if you don’t feel like it. But a stranger doesn’t have to be pretend to a fellow stranger. They’re never going to see each other again, anyway.

Europe, August 2001. I love my Europe trip. It was enlightening. Of course it got to a point where I was tired of all the bus rides and the early morning wake up calls but the wonderful places I got to see and the many wonderful things I discovered in each country far outweighed the tired moments. Never in my wildest dreams when I was growing up did I think that I would one day would walk down Piazza di Spagna in Rome and discover the famous streets of Amsterdam. Or that I would experience the beauty and grandeur of the Sistine Chapel, sail through the canals of Venice, meditate along the Rhine Valley in Germany, see the lovely hills of Austria that Maria Von Trapp sings about in The Sound of Music, see Paris at night from the top of the Eiffel Tower, and walk in the rain in the streets of London. I always think of my European adventure whenever I need to run away from all that is happening. It never fails to bring a smile to my face.

I have a snapshot of each of these happy moments and others I haven’t written about. These snapshots carry me through bad days and remind me of the things I am most thankful for. These happy moments have defined my twenty-nine years of existence and I want these happy moments - and the more to come — to define the rest of my years.

Happy birthday to me!

October 26, 2002

This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my dearest friend…

It’s always great to hear from you… Even if it’s awhile in between. Phone calls don’t really work for me because of my schedule and the time difference between us and text messaging doesn’t seem to work as well as I never know what’s going on with my mobile provider. So as it is, email’s the best way to go.

My birthday was quiet and simple. Lots of free lunches from friends. Thursday before my birthday, my office mates and I went to dinner at my favorite Italian restaurant (Macaroni Grill) and we had a lot of fun. On Friday, I went shopping (by myself) and bought myself a little something special — a new pair of shoes and these cool pants for work from Banana Republic. Then on Sunday, Ma insisted on cooking dinner so we had dinner at home. Added pounds, indeed! Good thing, there was no cake as the oven needs a-fixing.

Somehow as I get older, birthdays become less exciting. It becomes a routine and is really just another day. It is a chance though to be thankful for having lived. A time to take a moment and thank God for all the opportunities, for all the challenges I managed to face successfully, for the good health I and my family continue to enjoy and for all the good friends I have (you guys included). Remembering that somehow makes up my birthday.

Yes, my godkids — your angels — are beautiful. It’s great that they have their own personalities. Sounds like Camylle is more outgoing — more like you, I suppose — and little Louise is more the reserved, laid-back type — like her godmother, perhaps? If they were too alike, they probably won’t be able to stand each other. My sister and I get along well most of the time because we are different. She’s the brooding type while I’m the lively one.

The US isn’t quite as safe as where you are now. In-case you haven’t heard, we have made enemies all over the world. Our president is going into war with Iraq and if that should happen, all hell will break loose. Politics is killing our economy. Our stock market nearly crashed a few months back. A lot of companies are laying off and a lot folks have no jobs, most of them, desperate. In the County where I work there’s a hiring freeze that’s been in effect for almost a year and a half now and our budget looks bleak and there’s no hope in sight. So hang in there and keep trying but at the same time, don’t let it consume the rest of you. It shouldn’t be your only goal because if it doesn’t work, you may have nothing to fall back to. And should it happen, it’s not even the end of your troubles. Moving to a foreign country is most difficult and is never a guarantee to solve all your problems. Remember that. I will keep hoping that one day we could all be here in the US so we can hang out and discover things together.

Signing off for now. I have to pack for my Vegas trip tomorrow. I have to attend a conference which I didn’t want to attend in the first place. But someone’s got to do it. Hugs and kisses to my godkids.

October 27, 2002

As of writing, I am in Las Vegas to attend a work-related conference on on-line recruiting. As I look outside my hotel window, I see the MGM Grand marquee and a flood of memories rushed through me.

The year was 1999. I was turning twenty-six. That same year, I got a new job — my current job. The biggest pop group to blow up was Backstreet Boys (BSB) and their song “I Want It That Way” was a huge hit. We got tickets to see them perform live. Ahhh, life was good…

My sister and I did all the usual crazy stuff fanatics would do to get concert tickets. That year, the Boys (as we fanatics fondly call them) sold out concert tickets in record time. Two-day events in large arenas would sell-out in under ten minutes. So to even get a good chance — not a guarantee — to get nosebleed seats, you had to “camp out.” So there were were, among old and young BSB fans, at 4 AM “camping out” for tickets that won’t even be available until 10 AM. I must say, it was one of the craziest but rewarding experience I’ve had.

Of course we got tickets to the show in San Jose, California. Nosebleed section, as expected. The show was two days after my birthday so it was a great birthday gift, I supposed. Then a few days after getting the tickets to San Jose, we got lucky on-line and got tickets to a show in Las Vegas. Expensive but wouldn’t you grab it if you had the chance to sit closer to the stage? Well we did! And so on October 15 — five days before my birthday — my sister and I went to Las Vegas for the first time. The city that comes alive in the night time! We had a great time! And the Boys’ show on October 17 was awesome. The Boys brought the house down. BSB ruled and still does!

So tonight as I look out my hotel window, watching the MGM Grand’s neon light shine bright, I remember the excitement and joy of that first visit. It was one of the happiest days of my life and it was an amazing way to celebrate a birthday. But above all it was a good way to say goodbye to 1999 and hello to a new decade.