There and Back Again

1. Talk of politics.

2. People who pretend they know everything.

3. Being talked to when I am in the middle of reading a really good book.

4. David Beckham scoring a goal or Ken Griffey, Jr. scoring a homerun the minute I take my eyes away from the TV set.

5. People who ask the same questions over and over again. Didn’t you hear me the first time?

6. Boring seminar speakers.

7. Acquaintances who would sit next to me in the train then talk my ear off. This goes back to pet peeve #3.

8. People who obviously agree with the majority but disagrees for the sake of being different.

9. Fashion fad from the 1980’s.

10. A lot of the songs from the 80’s.

11. “User-friendly” people. These are those who are only nice to you when they need something.

12. Co-workers who pass on responsibilities because they’re new to the job and still learning.

13. People who ask you how your weekend (vacation) was so they can talk about their weekend (vacation) with you. I’d rather you come up straight to me and say, “Can I tell you about my weekend (vacation)?”

14. People who like N’Sync.

15. Banner ads on websites.

16. Indian food.

17. Show-offs.

18. Heat. Temperature above 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

19. Spam mail.

20. Spam mail about enlarging sexual organs!

21. Independent films that compromise story for artistic cinematic experience. Some movies are highly artistic, they’re dizzying - but really, if you strip it down to its bare minimum, it isn’t worth anything.

22. Christina Aguilera’s missing eyebrows. She should sue whoever did her make-up.

23. Subtitles in big fonts, it covers half the TV screen.

24. People who believe in zodiac signs too much.

25. Cleaning the bathroom.

26. Home decorating shows that brag about their flea market finds. Yeah, right!

27. Dick Vitale’s annual campaign for Duke University basketball.

28. NCAA basketball’s fondness for ACC teams (e.g., UNC, Duke, Maryland, etc.) and unspoken bias against Pac-10 teams (UCLA, UC Berkeley, Arizona, etc.).

29. Reality TV weddings. Who believes these things?

30. Really long and boring Oscar speeches.

31. Gwyneth Paltrow’s condescending smile.

32. People who are condescending.

33. Blink 182.

34. Fred Durst and his band.

35. Yahoo Club or forum members who “talk” as if they know everything about a particular topic and that you’re comments are merely chopped liver.

36. Overly thin people who make fun of overweight people. Can you say heartless?

37. Overweight people who say bad things about rail-thin people. Can you say jealous?

38. People who wait until the last scanned item before writing their check.

39. Big cars that hog a parking space.

40. The Green Bay Packers.

41. Finding the perfect pants only to find out your size is unavailable.

42. People who talk in theaters.

43. People who find us horror movie-loving folks weird.

44. Releasing various special edition DVDs of a movie. Think Lord of the Rings. I happen to own all special editions too, by the way.

45. The way the X-Files TV show turned out.

46. Style Network’s lack of men’s fashion coverage. I want to see male models too!

47. Pictures in entertainment magazines of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck kissing.

48. Joe Millionaire. And I thought Michael Bolton had serious hair problem!

49. Richard Gere winning the Golden Globes. C’mon!

50. Dry Clean Only.