There and Back Again

Reading: The Alchemist (Paul Coelho)
Listening: El Parque (Abre Los Ojos Sountrack)
Pondering: A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking a cigar and saying long-time-no-see. (Phyllis Battelle)

Remember in high school when you had a crush on this guy who didn’t know you existed? Do you recollect the feeling of rejection and longing that gnawed on you everytime he walked by without saying hello? Or the feeling of invisibility that washed over you everytime he sat across from you at student hall?

The thought of those awkward days now make me cringe. Those old feelings are now trivial and non-existent but the fact is that I remember feeling the pang very well. I remember the frustration I kept deep inside as I write in my journal at the end of day, depressed that another day of watching from afar has passed by and worried that it will stay that way for the rest of my life.

Funny how old sentiments like this resurface unexpectedly once in awhile. Funny how it’s easily triggered by little things like an email from an old high school friend (like in this case) or an old song that plays on the radio as you drive home to work or a passerby who catches your attention and who you will never see again. Funny how these things don’t just go away with time though it hardly means anything anymore…