Listening: Stardust – The Great American Songbook III (Rod Stewart)
Pondering: In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.
For the first, after a long time, my job is making me want to cry.
The only time this has ever happened to me was one month into the job, when an angry and difficult candidate questioned my recruitment process and threatened to take me in front of the Civil Service commission. When you’re new to the job and the process, complaints like that can be very intimidating and makes you question yourself and what you’ve done. I have since learned to defend my process and decisions and am confident in everything I do so that candidates – no matter how angry or how much more educated and experienced they are than I am – no longer intimidate me.
But today…today has just been so crazy and it’s not even 10 AM yet. I came in to a blinking phone (signaling lots of messages) and a cluttered email inbox on account that I was out of the office all day yesterday conducting a janitorial exam for 89 candidates vying for 1 vacancy. I get right into the email and after 3 messages I was ready to cry and go home. It wasn’t the email per se, but just the stress of the last couple of months that has finally caught up with me.
I feel like I’m drowning but can’t pinpoint why. Every corner in my office and every item on my desk is a nightmarish reminder that I have to do this and do that. I dread every time my phone rings and every time I open my online applicant tracking system because it can only be a new problem. Everyone in the office has been so helpful but some things I just can’t delegate and those are the ones that take the most time and cause the most anxiety. SCREAM! I hate feeling like this!
And to top it all, I am genuinely sad that John Kerry lost and we have to face four more of years of George W. Bush. Consider me one of those few folks who are contemplating moving to Canada now that he’s re-elected. The future looks bleak and it’s not helping my mood at all…
2 responses so far ↓
1 Keri // Nov 10, 2004 at 11:33 am
Well, look me up when you get to Canada. I’ll probably be right up there with you. *sniffles* I cannot believe dubya won. Honestly. WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING!???
Sorry work is so stressful. I feel that same sinking stressed out feeling when I look around my insane house right now.
*and she adds to poor Lisa’s stress by asking* How’s the NaNo coming along?
2 Lisa // Nov 11, 2004 at 11:52 am
Keri, my dear exactly my thoughts: WHAT THE HELL? Of late I’m thinking maybe New Zealand would be a cool place to migrate to as well. It’s Middle Earth as we know it (thanks to Peter Jackson’s movies). Now if only Tony Blair wasn’t a Bush-puppet, my first choice would have been the UK…
Work’s looking up. If get through November in one piece, I should be fine.
As for NaNo — ha, ha! Two weeks later and I’m at a whopping 7000 words. Is that pathetic or what? And you?
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